


shot of truth

by dimplerenjun



Series: nct [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Based off a song, Lowercase, M/M, Sorta Happy Ending, ending is a bit hopeful, im rly sad, not happy really, taeyong is a good leader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-06-01 02:21:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15132968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dimplerenjun/pseuds/dimplerenjun
Summary: dancing through our house with the ghost of you





	shot of truth

**Author's Note:**

> this is based off ghost of you by 5 seconds of summer, it's not at all happy but i suggest you listen to it while reading this. aged up characters just because it mentions alcohol. TW / death, doesn't really describe the death just mentions of someone being gone

when jisung woke up he expected to roll over and see chenle sleeping to his side but was just met with the coldness of reality. he grumbled getting out of bed and making his way to the kitchen, that same coffee cup lying on the counter as a reminder of someone amazing. he blasted the same song he always did and let his hips sway and eyes close shut. he could feel the warmth of chenle’s arms on his neck and hear the laughter the older would awaken the other dreamies with. they danced through their house, two bodies as one, flowing so gently to the music. chenle was always his angel, he always made sure everything was alright and if it was he would remind his fiancee that everything will be fine in the long run. once jisung opened his eyes he was met with a concerned face on renjun and tears running down his cheeks. the elder made his way over, hugging the broken boy so tight he seemed to want to put all the broken pieces back together.  
“i miss him junnie.” jisung choked out and the older just hugged him tighter.  
“we all do ji.” he paused, “taeyong wants all of us to go out tonight to celebrate our fourth anniversary, why don’t you go clean up a bit before then?” he suggested and jisung complied, not in the mood to argue. he dragged his feet back to his room and was met with the chills moving down his spine. the right side of the room had remained untouched for months now, he didn’t have to heart to move anything. he made his way to the left side grabbing a pair of black, ripped jeans and to the right he grabbed the shirt the older always wore. the same led zeppelin shirt he wore the day his parents kicked him out, claiming having a gay son would bring “bad vibes” into the family. during the shower he could do nothing but silently cry, chenle should be out celebrating with them tonight. when he got out he was met with the coldness once again, quickly throwing on his clothes and making sure the rest of him was publicly ready.  
“you ready to go bud?” jeno asked with a small smile and jisung nodded. He held his necklace chenle gave him for their first anniversary in his hand and quietly asked ‘you ready lele?’ only to be met with a heartache and small smile from members close enough to hear what he had said. 

the bar was too loud for his liking, nothing but the members and staff was floating through the dimly lit restaurant. currently nct 127’s songs were being pumped through speakers and the bass shook the entire building. a few members were dancing, some were sitting and conversing with one another, many were drinking, and jisung sat in a corner booth. he sat there imagining the chinese male across from him, playing with his significantly larger hands and going on and on about nothing in particular. that was chenle’s talent, he was good at talking about anything and everything. he could make anyone feel at home in a matter of minutes. jisung let out a soft sigh and rested his head in his hands. taeyong slid into the booth on his left, “you okay jisungie?” he asked and the younger gave him a smile and thumbs up. the leader softly rubbed his hand where the ring sat and walked back towards the group he was with earlier. the younger had momentarily forgotten about the ring on his left ring finger, he had proposed to chenle back in november when they were in jeju and the other boy squealed and attempted to kiss him but they ended up knocking heads. the boys had laughed it off and gave each other a kiss before chenle pulled out a ring of his own, claiming he had the same plans he did. the ring just seemed like a feature he was born with, it has never been removed since he received it and he never planned to take it off.

before he knew it, all the members were gathered together and ready to collectively take a few shots. jisung was pushed forward once it was time for taeyong to give a sappy speech. “i feel as if i don’t say this enough but i love each of you and you guys are the strongest people i know. i’m beyond proud of how much we’ve accomplished in just a few short years. the 16 of you are the people i hope to always have by my side and the one who left us too soon, is the same angel i want to forever watch over us.” he paused and jisung let a tear slip. “it’s been few of the hardest months i could’ve ever been through but for some it’s more painful. jisung, our precious youngest. i’m beyond sorry i couldn’t have protected you, or chenle, from this pain. you’re stronger than i could ever be and i really hope you know we are all here for you. we don’t want you to keep shutting us out, we are family and no one is left out. i hope with time that the pain fades but the memories remain as vibrant as they first were. to the rest of you, thank you for always being there for each other and myself. we have shown that although we have a big group we will always keep each other grounded. to chenle, our star who shines above us now, thank you for all the good times and love you shared with us. i’m sorry i never knew how much you were hurting inside but i hope you’re happier now. one day we will see you once again and it’ll be like nothing ever changed. your memory will live on with us forever, thank you and i love you. happy fourth anniversary to the 18 of us.” taeyong finished and cheers could be heard but jisung didn’t move for a second. he took a shot of reality and truth in that moment, although chenle is gone, there will be a time where they see each other again. the day he will get to kiss the older boy once again, then again and again for eternity. although the pain still haunts his heart, he can move on and accept the fact that maybe their time isn’t right now but a bit later. with this he downs his shot and smiles with his members. he spends the rest of the night dancing and laughing, just enjoying himself. “i’ll be back to the dorms a bit later, i have to visit someone before i go home.” he whispered to taeyong and called himself a driver. 

the cemetery was silent but warm. jisung made his way towards the newest stone and sat in front of it. “you know lele, these three months have been harder than i could’ve ever imagined. god there were so many days i just wanted to end it all, the days i just wanted to be with you again no matter what the conditions were. there was also days i felt extremely happy but felt guilty because you weren’t here to experience them. the hardest thing ever was seeing you, lips blue and skin cold, laying on the bedroom floor. i don’t blame you, that would be selfish of me. i just wish there was a way we could go back and change things, make things happen differently.” he paused and took a deep breath before continuing, “thank you for making everyday I spent with you the best days ever, whether it was snuggling up to you or receiving cheesy jokes from you through texts. i’ll miss your face pressed against my chest when we wake up, the way you swayed your hips while we danced, whenever you laughed in my ear, the small pecks you would give me between schedules, the fact you always used the same coffee cup, but i’ll miss your presence the most. you made this life worth living and i’ve realized, right now just wasn’t our time. there will be a time though, for you and i, a time where we can exchange many kisses and make many more memories. i love you and i always will. thank you for being my angel, my will to live. i’ll make sure i make all the right decisions in order to see you again.” jisung took one more look at the tombstone, reading it over. ‘Zhong Chen Le November 22, 2001 - January 3, 2020, A loving brother, son, friend, and fiancee’. walking back to the driver he sang the same song they had always danced to, by the time he finished he was curled up in his bed at the dorm wearing chenle’s sweater.

“my feet don’t dance like they did with you.”


End file.
